Sometimes I Am Such a Head Case

Lately I have been thinking about some of the social pressures we are faced with as we go through each day.

For me, there are several that come to mind that I deal with everyday; those that come with being a woman, from being single, from being religious, and from being overweight. For me, the one that is the most negative, and also the one that I feel the most pressure for, is being overweight.

Virtually every time I walk in a room, I look around to see if I am the heaviest girl there. I do a mental check to see where I fit in relation to all of the other women there. Before I started losing weight, I would also have to do a visual check on the chair because if it had arms there was a good chance it was going to be a tight fit.

When I go to a restaurant I feel like I am being judged by everyone in room for what I order, so I try not to pick items too fattening or too healthy because I don't want to draw extra attention to myself.

When I go clothes shopping, I always think that the sales person is wondering if I can fit into the clothes in their store. (Now that I have lost quite a bit of weight, I can actually shop in "normal" stores now, so this is always on my mind when I enter them).

The truth of the matter is that I'm not sure when I became so self centered thinking that everyone in the world is actually thinking about me. Rationally I know that virtually every other person in the world is mainly thinking about themselves in one way or another. They are probably worried about what I am thinking about them, OR they are thinking about what they will do when they get off work, OR they could possibly be thinking that I am a nice, attractive, fun woman. Isn't that a novel idea?? There are pros and cons for us being such social creatures. I hope that going forward I can continue to improve my self image (not just what I see in the mirror) but mainly what I see in my head.

Hmmmm....what do you think?

So...I have been evaluating my weight loss efforts a lot lately and wanted to post a question...do you think it is easier or harder to lose weight in the summer?

My mind would normally tell me that it should be easier because the weather is nice and I am excited to be outside and be more active and because I have an intense desire to look better in less clothing (i.e. the dreaded swimming suit).

However, as I was evaluating the past couple of years and my weight loss tracking sheets, I have noticed that I have lost a lot more weight and lose it more consistently during the winter months. Hmmm....very interesting. As I am looking at my food trackers, it looks like I have a harder time eating healthy in the summer, which is really strange because of all of the fresh fruit and grilling opportunities for healthier food choices.

What do you think? And...does anyone have any ideas for what could help me out?