Lately I have been thinking about some of the social pressures we are faced with as we go through each day.
For me, there are several that come to mind that I deal with everyday; those that come with being a woman, from being single, from being religious, and from being overweight. For me, the one that is the most negative, and also the one that I feel the most pressure for, is being overweight.
Virtually every time I walk in a room, I look around to see if I am the heaviest girl there. I do a mental check to see where I fit in relation to all of the other women there. Before I started losing weight, I would also have to do a visual check on the chair because if it had arms there was a good chance it was going to be a tight fit.
When I go to a restaurant I feel like I am being judged by everyone in room for what I order, so I try not to pick items too fattening or too healthy because I don't want to draw extra attention to myself.
When I go clothes shopping, I always think that the sales person is wondering if I can fit into the clothes in their store. (Now that I have lost quite a bit of weight, I can actually shop in "normal" stores now, so this is always on my mind when I enter them).
The truth of the matter is that I'm not sure when I became so self centered thinking that everyone in the world is actually thinking about me. Rationally I know that virtually every other person in the world is mainly thinking about themselves in one way or another. They are probably worried about what I am thinking about them, OR they are thinking about what they will do when they get off work, OR they could possibly be thinking that I am a nice, attractive, fun woman. Isn't that a novel idea?? There are pros and cons for us being such social creatures. I hope that going forward I can continue to improve my self image (not just what I see in the mirror) but mainly what I see in my head.
I think you nailed it with "They are probably worried about what I am thinking about them..." because so many of us are trapped into that way of thinking.
ReplyDeleteI try hard to not be concerned with what other people think of me, but it is a struggle at times.
I wish you the best of luck with your reevaluation of how you look at yourself & with accepting yourself as the fabulous person you are - inside & out.
I feel the same way a lot of times. It can be hard to not think that way, but then I just try to remember that I'm really not that interesting, lol!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it is a tough thing to get over, that feeling of being watched and judged. Over time, though, I think it gets easier to go about our lives without that feeling all the time.
I can totally relate to how you feel sometimes. I hate feeling like others are judging me, when in reality they are feeling the same way. Just try to stay positive about yourself!
ReplyDeleteI do that too... It's the worst thing and something I try to battle everyday! I know a lot of times I'm embarrassed ordering food at a restaurant. If I order something unhealthy, I think people are nodding there heads "that's why she looks like that" and if I order a salad I feel like they're thinking "yeah right"
ReplyDeleteBut you know what... they prob don't notice or care... you're soooo right!
I've read almost the exact same thing on so many blogs. We need to stop worrying about what others think and celebrate who we are. God made us and loves us. He looks at our hearts, not our scales! :-D
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