Food is NOT the Boss of Me!

On Thursday I went in for an appointment with my doctor to have a fill put in my lap band. Even though I have gained a little weight in the past couple of months, he was still very happy and supportive of the progress that I have made since the disaster with the kidney stones in February and having to have the band emptied. Now we are working to get the band at the proper fill volume for me. It's different for everyone and different for me depending on what weight I am at, so we both do the best we can to find my sweet spot.

Friday I headed to Arches National Park in Southern Utah for a weekend of camping, hiking, and river rafting with my friends. On the way down to the park (which is about 3.5 hours from my home) I started getting a little sick. Clearly my band had been filled a little too much, but I didn't realize it before we got on the road.

By the time we arrived in Moab I was really not doing well at all. I just kept puking my guts out (sorry...I know it is not a pleasant image) every time I ate any solid food. I didn't want to ruin the trip for myself or anyone else, so I put on a happy face and tried to enjoy myself...and I really did. There I was in one of the most beautiful places on earth hiking and loving the outdoors, and it didn't matter to me that I couldn't eat all of the yummy burgers, fries, and hot dogs that my friends were all eating. I just focused on keeping myself hydrated and enjoying all of the smoothies and other nutritious liquid meals I could find. Even though it was psychologically hard not being able to eat real food, I was happy to discover that I was strong enough that food was not going to determine whether or not I enjoyed myself.

I went in to see my doctor again today to get a little of the fill taken out of my band. Needless to say we were both SHOCKED to find out that I had lost 16 pounds in 4 days. I know that a lot of that is most likely from being a little dehydrated, but the lesson that I learned from this experience is that food is not as powerful as I had thought it was. In the past I have let food control my life. I used to find myself giving in to cravings or make excuses for poor food choices. Food is not in contol of me...I am in control of myself. It was really a very liberating experience and a good lesson for me. Hopefully I can use this 16 pounds as a kick start back on the weight loss road.